Why I hate Neil Diamond. Really, I do....

I had pretty horrible teeth when I was younger. Way to many teeth, and they crossed over each other. This meant braces, and braces meant weekly trips to the orthodontist. That meant periodic "tightening". If you had braces in the 70's or 80's you know what that was like- but if you didn't- just imagine someone pulling on a wire and making all your teeth want to move closer together. The pain some weeks was incomprehensible. My orthodontist must have loved Neil Diamond, because he played it all the time. Somehow, when my turn in the torture chair came "America" was always playing. They say smell is the most powerful sense. I have to argue that sound it close up there. Whenever I heard Neil sing, my teeth would start to ache and I would smell dental molds.

Years and years later I was living in Austin and my friends and I were walking around 6th street. 6th street is a street where every storefront is a bar or restaurant ( loosely a restaurant). Many, many nights of my youth were wasted (literally) on or about that street. ANYWAY- one night I heard the strains of a familiar song coming out of one my favorite places- The Black Cat Lounge. No link- hell I don't think they had indoor bathrooms if I remember correctly. What I heard coming out of the bar was "America". The Black Cat was considered by some to be kind of an anarchist club(it seemed a bit more dirty punk to me- but there were tons of bikers and more than a few skinheads depending on the night) so it was an "odd" rendition of the song to be sure, but it was "America".

And my teeth started to hurt.